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Can’t buy me love… but what about happiness? 
The Beatles famously sang ‘can’t buy me love’ but can the same be said about happiness? What exactly is happiness? Where is our source of happiness? It is that magnificent designer watch or it is that feeling of time standing still?
Is it jumping out of bed ready to live a new day? Or maybe knowing you did your best today. Exactly where do we place our happiness and how can we optimise it?
We are living in a time of abundance, a time of unlimited technological advances and most importantly a time of exuberant wealth. Yet amongst all this choice, we can still find ourselves feeling empty and craving something more.
International research has shown that if you were born after WWII rather then before it, you are ten times more likely to feel depressed. Additionally, we are much more affluent today then in the 1950’s but people report the same amount of happiness today as they did back then. It seems we are in a state of happiness confusion.
Interestingly, a new ‘condition’ called ‘affluenza’ has recently emerged in the States. It is affecting only the super-rich whom suffer from symptoms such as never knowing whether people like you for who you are or for your money and of having no need for structure, purpose or motivation in their life. Looks like the Beatles predicted before their time. But all is not lost…..
Several weeks ago I attended a seminar by Dr Martin Seligman, the leading spokesperson on Positive Psychology and Happiness. His research has demonstrated that it is possible to be happier — to feel more satisfied, to be more engaged with life, find more meaning, have higher hopes, and probably even laugh and smile more, regardless of one’s circumstances.
Basically he is now training Positive Psychologists, whose practice will make the world a happier place, in the way that parallels clinical psychologists having made the world a less unhappy place.
This may sound great; scientific proof that happiness can be created and strengthened but what does this actually mean?
Seligman introduces the ‘The Happiness Formula’:
H = S + C + V
H= enduring level of Happiness (overall happiness not momentary eg eating chocolate)
S= your set range (genetic inheritance)
C= circumstances in your life (relationship, money, health, religion etc)
V= factors under your voluntary control (attitudes towards your past, present and future)
I find this interesting and recommend his book (Authentic Happiness www.authentichappiness.com ) for further analysis. Fundamentally, Seligman maintains happiness is delivered through focusing on the key areas of your life: satisfaction from your PAST, optimism about you FUTURE and happiness about the PRESENT.
Take a moment to ask yourself, if you were to create greater happiness in your life starting today, where would you see the biggest impact? What would be different from yesterday?
For most of us, to increase our level of happiness would create a positive ripple effect. Happy people have shown to be less self-focused, more sociable, creative, flexible and able to tolerate life’s frustrations more easily. As well as being found to be more loving and forgiving. With a high sense of self worth, confidence and ability to appreciate the present, it seems happy people have a vast ability to live life to the full.
So how can you bring greater happiness into your life?
Here are some possible actions:
1) Happiness is a CHOICE, make your decision and start immediately; smile, look for the positives and start to cherish every special moment so you can build them into your daily life.
2) It is your RESPONSIBILITY to nurture your own happiness. Remove any obstacles which may get in the way; a stale relationship or monotony at work are not conducive to happy state. No one appreciates a moaner or a martyr; it is up to you to change your conditions
3) Disown ENVY, there will always be someone smarter, prettier, richer or cleverer then you but it is up to you to remind yourself of the great things in your life and to stop pouring precious energy into disempowering thoughts. Choose to manage your aspirations and ambitions and keep perspective.
4) Surround yourself with LIKE-MINDED PEOPLE; become infused with the energy and inspiration of common goals and values. Ensure you have a circle of friends to share the good times and the bad.
5) Ensure a healthy level of COMPASSION towards yourself before you share it with others. Are you your best friend? Happiness is your right and your responsibility. Own it, breathe it, live it. It is your choice.
However you wish to increase the level of happiness in your life, the opportunity is here today and it is up to you seize the moment and SMILE!
‘People allow themselves to be only as happy
as they think they deserve to be’
- Anon
Acknowledgments:
HARROLD F. (2002 )‘The 10 Minute Life Coach’ Hodder and Stoughton: London and http://www.authentichappiness.sas.upenn.edu/
Claire Hall
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